Hey everyone – Chris here on the blog. You ever have one of those moments when you hear a piece of news, and you think to yourself (or outlud): “Naaaaah. That can’t be true! No way! Certainly, there must be an explanation. Is it April 1st? Someone is trying to play a joke on me.” Well, that pretty much describes my reaction to hearing some of the most disturbing news I have heard in a LONG time.
I heard on the radio last week while driving to work that Mother’s Cookies was going bankrupt and was going to shut down their operations IMMEDIATELY. I was in shock. Utter disbelief. You may be thinking to yourself, “Chris, honestly…they’re just cookies.” You obviously don’t understand!
The COOKIE PARADE was a fixture in my mother’s pantry for as long as I can remember. As a kid, one of my favorite things to eat were these cookies – that’s where my love was born. I’d get the bag off of the top shelf, open it up carefully, and look inside for those cookies. Oh, you know the ones I’m talking about. There aren’t that many in the bag, and everyone in your family digs for them, so you’d better get first dibs or you’re out of luck. I’m talking about this guy, in the middle:
I know, all you Circus Parade lovers out there…you like the ones on the left and right! I included those in the picture because those are my 2nd favorite (and the favorite of my beloved Mother-In-Law, and….oh, Mom, don’t kill me on this one, but I’m pretty sure they’re your favorite, too!). Better to know Mom-In-Law’s over Mom’s, right? After all…they are Mother’s Cookies. But I DIGRESS!
People, isn’t this SUPER DEPRESSING!?? I mean, I can handle the stock market wavering 500 points in either direction, but for the love of all things good in this world…Mother’s Cookies? What will I do with myself? This special treat has been a food staple in my family for as long as I can remember! It’s like RICE. Like POTATOES. Like MILK. I’m NOT kidding.
So, what do I do?
Well, the first thing I did was I told Sara in a serious, yet almost begging voice, “Babe, Mother’s Cookies is going out of business. Your mission is to BUY AS MANY BAGS AS YOU POSSIBLY CAN.” Thankfully, I’m not the only one who shares my obsession with these cookies. So, what did I see when I came home today?
That’s right – 6 bags – apparently on sale somewhere (no, I ain’t tellin’ you where! are you kidding?!) so she snatched ‘em up. I’ve got a goooooood wife! I can’t decide whether it’s a good idea to eat one per day between now and when they’re all gone or whether I should sneak a bag into the closet and make myself sick by eating them all in one sitting. I suppose I should be rational about all this, but I’m clearly struggling. I suppose I can learn to share if I must.
So, I leave this post a bit depressed…a bit heartbroken…and wondering what cookies I will have to try next. I fear that no cookie or assortment (even the name – assortment! – isn’t as fun as PARADE) will ever live up to my expectations. No way am I eatin’ no Chips Ahoy. Please!
Consider yourself warned. If you love these puppies, stock up if your market has ‘em! And if you know a rich investor who’s looking to cheer this guy up – let ‘em know that Mother’s Cookies is for sale. You could also mail me a bag and I would love you forever.
Please let me know if you have any news to the contrary! I would be happy to know that this is all just a sick joke. And I’d love to know if anyone knows any *close* approximations to my above beloved favorites, the chocolate cookie and the pink & whites. Let’s be real – I love the cookies, but I can learn to love a substitute if the real thing is no longer available…
With that, I give the blog back to my wife!